Happy Thanksgiving Mr. Volvo!

Deloris and I want our urn back! And while we're at it...

Hey Mr. Condo Curmudgeon! Deloris and I want our balcony back! (This one is a sad story for another day, but I just had to say it.)

Back to (Old) Mr. Volvo...

For the smokers at the Shop, I used to have a coffee can by the back door. Oh yes, this was pretty disgusting and Deloris always commented that this was a pretty disgusting way to handle butts.

One day, Deloris said to me,

"I've got an urn, you know, an old planter that I've wanted to get rid of, and I'm going to bring it to the Shop. You fill it with sand and then you've got an ashtray that isn't quite so disgusting. I'll tell you right now, though, someone will steal it and it will be very interesting to see how long it takes."

"Oh, for heavens sake, Deloris, no one will steal it. It's a planter turned ashtray. What in heavens name would anyone want with it?"

"You mark my words, I was in retail for 33 years and someone will steal it. I'll just be waiting for the day."

Time passed, probably 6 weeks in fact. I greeted Deloris at the back door every Thursday and she'd glance at the urn and say,

"I can't believe anyone hasn't stolen it yet."

"Oh silly," I'd say, "No one's going to steal it."

"You mark my words."

Well, yesterday, the day before Thanksgiving of all days of the year, someone actually stole it! In broad daylight no less and while one of my friends watched!

Here's how it happened.

Abby and her dear mother Barbara came in to discuss a secret mission (more about this in future blogs). We chatted it up, talked about yarn, secret missions, etc. and when I walked them out, I glanced in the corner outside the Shop and said,

"Well, I'll be damned, someone did steal the urn."

Abby said, " Oh my God, I saw who it was! It was an old man in a white Volvo! He almost hit us as we pulled in. I thought he was taking it to empty it! He picked the darn thing up and put it in his car and his WIFE was in the car too! He wasn't taking it to empty it?"

I love this! I adore the fact that Abby thought I had a cigarette butt urn emptier and I suspect that Abby's interpretation of old is my age! When I told her they stole it, she and her Mom were appalled when they realized that his WIFE was in the car!

I called Deloris, but before I tell you about the conversation, I must tell you about Deloris.

As you know from this blog, Deloris is a lefty. She loves knitting in the round which means every single pattern is backwards. She is one of the best knitters I know, helps everyone with every pattern, teaches the class that she and her friends attend AND takes calls about knitting after 6:00 p.m.

In addition, she is an organizational dream. My sister, Kay, who visits far too infrequently from Massachusetts is Deloris' soul mate. Kay was here this summer and thought organizing my back room would be more fun than going downtown. Kay made curtains, she bought organizing containers, she did it all.

Deloris walked into the Shop several days after the whirlwind of my darling sister and said,

"Now, this is gorgeous! What happened? You didn't do this. Who did this? Who did this?

"My sister Kay."

"Now this is a woman I can love."

Sister Kay says every time we talk,

"Is your back room still neat?"

"Yes."

"Does Deloris think so?"

"I think so," I say trembling, "I think so..."

So, I called Deloris about the urn.

"Happy Thanksgiving! Someone stole the urn."

"I knew it, I knew it. I was in retail for 33 years and I know about people. I knew someone would steal it; it was just a matter of time. I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did. Good thing I really didn't want it anymore. Old Volvo must really have wanted it to risk the hernia. It's got a good home now so that's good. I'll bring over a rusty bucket for the butts. Even I don't think anyone will steal a rusty bucket."

"I can't believe it. Someone stole the urn in broad daylight. I can't believe it."

Well, Happy Thanksgiving Mr. and Mrs. Volvo. I wanted to ask Engineer Boy if he thought the urn filled with sand was heavy enough to give Mr. Volvo a hernia, but he's still a frog so he wouldn't know.

Mr. Volvo! Deloris and I are watching out for you; we'll know you if you ever show up around the Shop again and may the hernia we know you now have interrupt the digestion of the turkey Mrs. Volvo is probably cooking for you right now. Was she proud of your theft? Was she the one who asked you to do it? Shame on you, Mr. Volvo and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone else.